Dear Annie, should we hire my friend as a real estate agent?



Dear Annie: A year ago my best friend Tia got her real estate license and she worked very hard to expand her clientele. She managed to sell two houses and become an agent for the buyer of three.

My husband and I want to buy a house soon and I don’t understand if it is worth hiring her as our agent. She is a great friend and we went through a lot together.

On the one hand, I want to do my best to support my friend in her new career. I think she has excellent qualities and will do a good job for us. I am also afraid that she will be hurt if we do not choose her.

On the other hand, my husband is nervous about her lack of experience, and I am worried that if we disagree with this deal, it will negatively affect our friendship.

What do you think I should do? – Mixing friends with business

Dear business friends: Since Tia is a wonderful friend and you went through all the difficulties together, take her to lunch and walk her through the whole situation. Explain that your friendship is more important to you than buying a house. Tell her about your husband’s concerns.

Then you can offer one of two options: you and your husband can hire someone else, or she can team up with an experienced real estate agent and you and your husband can work with two agents to buy your home. Having someone you can trust and who represents you is rewarding, and having someone with more experience is worth gold. Good luck in your new home – and lasting friendship.

Dear Annie: I need to talk about it, even if I overreact and this is not my place. Friends recently got divorced and some of my family members switched sides. Specifically, I became the ear that my wife could pour out when things went wrong, and my daughter-in-law, “Rebecca,” became the ear for her husband, “Sam.”

I tried not to go into details and just encouraged me during a difficult period of my friend’s life. However, the details of Sam’s dismissal with other girls were revealed.

Rebecca doesn’t think Sam did anything wrong because he said that when he met these girls, nothing physical happened. Rebecca and Sam spend time together all the time, and she ruined all the friendship she had with her wife.

The divorce has been finalized, but tensions remain between all parties. I recently noticed that Rebecca is playing a much more active role in her friendship with Sam. I wouldn’t care if Rebecca and Sam got together if not for the fact that she is married and has four children. She constantly corresponded with him, ignoring her family, despite being repeatedly told that her close relationship with Sam raises questions about whether she is cheating on her husband.

Rebecca complained about her husband working overtime, but while he had a day off, she left him at home with their children so she could go on a local date with Sam. Fortunately, there was another guy friend there. It worries me that she will end up in the same place as our friends recently, because her husband would think it was too much. Her husband doesn’t like Sam either. If there is a quarrel or divorce on the horizon, she will still be part of our family, because she is my husband’s sister.

Is there anything I can do or say to warn her of the dangers she might face, or am I sticking my nose where it shouldn’t? – Worried and Worried Sister

Dear worried and worried sister! Rebecca plays with fire, flirts with Sam, and ignores her husband. Since Rebecca is your husband’s sister, you can ask him to talk to her for at least four children.

View previous columns “Dear Annie”

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice from Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book with her favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette is available in paperback and ebook. Visit for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to



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